Sunday, November 15, 2009

Welcome to How to Save a Relationship

Is your relationship on the rocks? Or have you just gone through a breakup?

Don't worry, you're not alone. You need to know that you are among millions fighting the same battle. Remember that just because your relationship is failing or even if it's ended, that does not mean that it cannot be saved.

Did you know that over 90% of all breakups can be reversed?  And even the most extreme relationship issues can be resolved.  That is if you know the specific steps you need to take.

Don't give it any more time to deteriorate further.  Don't let the love of your life drift any further away from you.  If you arm yourself with a solid action plan now, you can save your relationship before it's too late.

For couples everywhere who are struggling through various relationship issues as well as people who want to get their ex back and bring back the love between them, here are reviews of three of the top guides available online, written by accomplished relationship and marriage experts and designed to arm you with the strategies that are guaranteed to save any relationship.


#1  The Magic of Making Up

T.W. Jackson's formula for stopping or reversing breakups and restoring loving relationships is currently taking the internet by storm, and for good reason.  This system provides a fool-proof step-by-step method that has already helped thousands.

This guide is extremely thorough and cuts through the fluff that is often found in other materials. Its to-the-point, down-to earth style makes it easy for  anybody to follow, which is likely why there are so many positive testimonials about this system.  The Magic of Making Up system shows you exactly how to win back an ex after a break up or how to resolve even the toughest relationship issues by arming you with the following:
  • How to identify the root issues causing the tension between you
  • How to devise and set into action a step-by-step plan to overcome these core issues
  • How to identify the traits of a perfect relationship and make your relationship thrive
We enjoyed the writing style because the author's sense of humor and positive attitude helps to keep you motivated through the process of dealing with the complicated problem at hand.  Sometimes a bit of optimism is just what you need. ...find out more

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#2  Bring Back the Love of Your Life

This guide shows exactly how to get an ex back or stop your breakup and revive your thriving and loving relationship through a proven 4-step system that gives permanent results. C. Pemo's methods and ideas are comprehensive but easy to comprehend and put into action

The Bring Back the Love of Your Life system includes 7 free bonus downloads as well as membership access to a private relationship coaching program that helps you target and resolve specific issues in your relationship. ...find out more

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#3  Counsellor in a Box

This system aims to provide a "step-by-step roadmap to relationship mastery" through tactics and techniques that can help win your ex back and save your relationship.  This is our third recommended resource because while it provides an excellent program, we didn't care for the gimmicky-sounding language.

However, Counsellor in a Box includes one of the best free offers available online: a 1-hour personal one-on-one coaching consultation by phone or skype plus 5 email consultations to help work out specific issues in your relationship. ...find out more

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Why Do We Offer Free Advice?

How to Save a Relationship was created because like many, when we went in search of advice online for resolving relationship problems, we simply couldn't find any. We wanted quality advice that is easy to understand and implement. So, we put together all of our resources and created this site in hopes of providing the kind of information we once sought out. It is filled with articles containing advice to help understand the "why" and help lead through the "how". Here you will find the latest information to help save your relationship and live a happy and fulfilled life together.

4 Simple Steps for How to Save Your Relationship and Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back

If you're looking for specific steps for how to save your relationship and get your ex girlfriend back, you've come to the right place.

As it turns out, with breakups, in almost every case it happened because you did something wrong. Don't stop reading, hear me out.

It's hard maintaining a relationship with a woman, it is. And now it's time that you figure out exactly what went wrong so that you can figure out what steps to take to save your relationship and get your ex girlfriend back for good.

Here are 4 steps you can take to save your relationship:

1. Pay More Attention to Her

It is absolutely crucial in a relationship with a woman that you show her that you truly care about her by paying her a lot of attention. It's a fact of life: women like attention. And if you want to maintain a relationship with a woman, you're going to need to give her the attention that she requires.

2. Give Her Emotional Support

Women are completely different from men with regards to emotional support. If you want to save your relationship, you're going to need to figure out exactly how to support her emotionally. Most women need more than just verbal affirmations so consider if there's something special you can buy her or give her that would show that you know her on a deeper level.

3. Do Not Cheat

Although this seems obvious, it's necessary to mention as it's the ultimate relationship-killer. Do not ever cheat on her. Even if you broke up because she cheated on you, do not cheat on her. Refrain from seeing other women directly following a breakup. This will show her that you only have eyes for her and cannot imagine being with someone else.

4. Show Her Some Responsibility

Help her in any way you can, like pitching in with any chores she might need a hand with or errands she might need to take care of. By showing her that you're responsible, she'll be more willing to take you back and you have a much greater shot at saving the relationship.

Friday, November 13, 2009

4 Steps for How to Understand and Save Your Troubled Relationship

Being in a trouble relationship is confusing and difficult.  Sometimes you simply feel like the relationship has run its course and whether it's even possible to save your relationship.  These feelings only serve to further stress and strain an already troubled relationship.

This can lead to feelings of guilt when you're experiencing mixed feelings about your once loving relationship.  There are certain things you should think about when you're trying to figure out how to understand the conflict and issues at hand in order to decide how to save your troubled relationship.

1.  Brainstorm What a Relationship Means to You

Think about what it is you want and need from a relationship.  These can be things as simple as fidelity and respect or as demanding as a specific amount of attention being paid.  Now think deeper.  Are there things you want from a relationship that enhances your life as a whole?  For example, do you wish your relationship helped you to grow emotionally?  Or do you want your relationship to bring excitement and romance to your life?  Do you want your partner to stimulate you intellectually or spiritually?

2.  Decide if Your Relationship Can Offer What You Need

After you create a detailed list of what an ideal relationship is to you, then go through each item one by one and try to decide which of those things your partner can provide and whether the relationship is something that truly helps you to thrive.  Think about the relationship continuing on the path it's on now. Try to imagine if you and your partner are capable of changing in such a way that the relationship is worth saving.  You both will need to participate in salvaging the relationship for it to work.

3.  Consider Spending Time Apart

Sometimes all you need is a little room to breathe and a little time to think about your relationship with a clear mind.  Taking the time to separate temporarily can provide you with the space you need.  Step back and spend some time alone in order to get your head together and evaluate your relationship well.  Often times, this time apart actually helps bring you both to a place where you remember what it is you love about each other.

4.  Imagine the Ending of Your Relationship

During your time apart, imagine what it would be like to end the relationship.  Try to think of the future. Are you actually better off without that partner?  Some relationships simply aren't meant to be and there's nothing wrong with that.  If you find yourself devastated at the thought of not being with your partner, then you will both need to be capable of working on saving your troubled relationship.  You will need to come up with a strategic plan to work things out and move the relationship forward.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

How Can I Save My Relationship The Right Way?

Are you wondering to yourself, "How can I save my relationship the right way?"

Know that just because your relationship is on the rocks doesn't mean that it has to end.  Here are some helpful tips to answer the question, 'How can I save my relationship the right way?"

1.  Convince Him You're Worth It

The first and most important thing you need to do is show your partner that you're important to them and that you're worth fighting for.  Saving a relationship is hard work and for it to be worth it, there has to be substance there.  Saving your relationship the right way means it's a worthy relationship to begin with.  It's your job to show your partner that they do not want to lose you.

2.  Be a Good Friend

Step back from the romantic aspect of your relationship and remember that your partner should be your friend.  Provide support and show them that you understand their feelings and care about them.  Try to be relaxed and even lighthearted about the situation even if it hurts.  Make sure your partner knows that you're not holding any grudges and that there are no hard feelings between you.  Saving the relationship the right way means forming a solid foundation based on a strong friendship before anything else.  Then you move onto redeveloping your relationship.

3.  Reel Your Partner In

This is the tricky part.  Without acting desperate, but without acting pompous, you want to try to make yourself alluring and mysterious.  Communication here is vital - and not just your words, but your body language and what you don't say as well.  Don't let your partner think they have you in the palm of their hand but you also don't want to play so hard to get that you put them off.

4.  Play it Cool

Show your partner that you are a strong and collected person.  Don't act frantic and desperate or destroyed and depressed.  Make sure your partner knows that you're capable of handling situations like these and that you're strong enough to work on the next steps towards healing the relationship especially since you have a strong friendship between you.

Monday, November 9, 2009

Saving a Relationship Despite Relationship Conflict (Relationship Psychology: Do Men and Women Deal with Conflict Differently?)

Are you working on saving a relationship that suffers from relationship conflict?  It might actually help you to understand the complex relationship psychology behind how conflict affects men differently than women.

Relationship conflicts in the form of arguments, disagreements and fighting can take you and your partner to the point where you have to figure out how to end the conflicts in order to save the relationship.  The most difficult obstacle to overcome when dealing with relationship conflict often becomes how you and your partner actually deal with conflict in the first place.

This is why it is often recommended that people see a couple's counselor or marriage therapist in order to help resolve some of the misunderstandings that can arise when two people react to conflict in such different ways.

How Do Men Deal with Conflict in a Relationship?

Men tend to react more strongly and more noticeably to relationship conflict.  They often experience anxiety as a result of conflict in their relationships.  This can often lead to erratic behavior as men tend not to talk out the things that are bothering them.

While they have the desire to eliminate the relationship conflict, they tend not to take action and instead assume a passive role in conflict resolution.  Because of this, men who have partners that are more secure and collected tend to experience less anxiety in the face of relationship conflict.

How Do Women Deal with Conflict in a Relationship?

Women are much more likely to talk about the conflict at hand rather than keep it inside.  When women experience relationship conflict, they generally take the initiative to start and guide conversations with their partners in an attempt to get to the root of the conflict and resolve it.  Although men experience more anxiety, women ironically are the ones who wish to get the conflict over with more quickly and therefore take the actions to resolve it.

Saturday, November 7, 2009

4 Secret Tips for Ways To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back and Save Your Relationship

Going through a breakup is tough, so it's perfectly naturally if you find yourself looking for tips on ways to get your ex boyfriend back and save your relationship.  If you know in your heart of hearts that there is still love between you and you do belong together, then try these 4 secret tips for ways to get your ex boyfriend back and truly save the relationship.

1.  Give Yourself Time to Grieve

Surviving a breakup is no easy task, and the first thing you need to do to eventually work towards getting your ex boyfriend back and saving your relationship is allowing yourself to go through the process of mourning and grieving.  This stage is perfectly normal, natural and even healthy.  Allowing yourself to go through this process will only help make you stronger when you've finally recovered.

After your breakup, surround yourself with supportive friends and family that you can lean on.  Even though it's hard, put as much effort as you can into taking care of yourself.  Keep up a healthy diet and maintain whatever exercise routine you have.  Breaking up is a painful process, but you will be proud of yourself when you can look back and see how well you survived it.

2.  Figure out What Went Wrong in the Relationship

Take however long you need to get yourself together before you move past the mourning stage after your relationship ends.  Now it's time to think about what it is that might have caused the breakup and the reasons your relationship struggled.

Ask yourself what it is that he did and what it is that you did that might have ultimately led to the breakup.  Remember that a relationship consists of two people.  No one person is to blame here.  Try to pinpoint the root problems that need to be solved in order for the relationship to be saved.  There is no way to save the relationship if you don't know what it is that was wrong with it.

3.  Set Up a Plan to Solve the Key Relationship Problems

After identifying the main problems in your relationship, you will need to set up a plan of action for actually solving your relationship issues.  There are several things that could happen at this stage in getting back your ex boyfriend and saving your relationship.

In some cases, there are things that you will need to change.  Perhaps there is something that you were doing that was not bringing out the best in your ex boyfriend.  If that is the case, you will need to figure out how you can adapt to him.  Do not accept bad behavior on his part, but be forgiving of his personal characteristics.  Everybody has flaws, including you and including your boyfriend.  If you disagree over something in your relationship, you need to figure out a civil way to compromise.

4.  Play to Your Ex Boyfriend's Ego

If you think you're the only one hurting from this breakup, think again.  Your ex boyfriend most likely has a bigger ego than you, and that means the breakup is painful for him whether he admits it or not.  No matter whose fault he perceives the breakup to be, it is nevertheless a failure in one way or another.

Guys do not like to fail.  It hurts their pride, tarnishes their ego and suppresses their confidence.  But you can actually use this fact to help you get your ex boyfriend back and save your relationship.  Simply apologizing for anything you think you may have done wrong in the relationship will go a long way to lift some of the blame from him, helping restore his pride.

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

How to Save a Relationship When You Have An Ex Boyfriend To Get Back

If you've just been through a breakup and you know that there is still love between you, you might be pondering how to save a relationship when you have an ex boyfriend to get back.

Maybe you've tried the obvious methods for getting him to come back to you like begging and pleading with him, promising that you've changed and things will be different.  Maybe you've ever tried to breakup the relationship he's currently in if he's started something up since your breakup.

This would be a good moment to take a step back from yourself and take a look at how you might seem to him.  If you really have an ex boyfriend to get back and want so succeed in saving your relationship, then you're going to have to make sure you appear as someone he would want to be with.  If you're behaving immaturely, scheming and scamming to try to win him back, then how attractive do you look as a partner to him?

Instead, imagine what might work to actually lure him back in a natural way rather than through trickery.  Next time you bump into him, try just acknowledging him by saying a friendly hello, then carry on with your own business elsewhere in the room.  This is a surefire way to get him to notice you and think about you differently.

Behaving in a way that isn't expected is an excellent way to get his attention.  If you're used to constantly calling him, for example, stop.  Call him only when you really need something or have to tell him something.  Don't give him a reason to dread hearing from you.

Maybe even stop calling him altogether for awhile, then call him out of the blue just to say hello and that you were thinking about him.  Ask him how he's doing and be friendly.  He'll suddenly find himself wondering how you've been doing and what you've been up to that you're so calm and collected.

End the call on a good note rather than trying to manipulate.  When you have an ex boyfriend to get back, it's important to be honest and truthful.  It's also important to have a solid plan of action for when he starts showing interest again.

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Simple Ideas How To Get Back With Your Ex

 If you're wondering how to get back with your ex, here are some simple ideas to get you started.  If you're truly meant to be together, then nothing should stop you from trying to get your ex back.

You probably weren't ready for your relationship to end, or you feel you could have put more effort into saving it.  Either way, you shouldn't give up on the love you know still exists between you.

Even though you can't undo any mistakes you might have made, with time and patience, those mistakes begin to fall away when you open up clear and honest communication between you.

Do not, however, make the mistake of rushing back together.  You both need time to focus on the problems at hand and who you really are.  Once you've pinpointed the root problem, you need to find out how to accept the problem or figure out how it can be fixed.

For example, if the issue was cheating, then the root issue at hand is that trust has been broken.  What you need is time and much effort.  Winning back trust in a relationship is extremely difficult and you cannot expect it to happen overnight.

Do not let yourself appear needy.  Even if you feel desperate to get back with your ex, you can't hand all power over to them.  Instead, build your confidence up so that you look together and in control of your life.

Get an Ex Girlfriend Back With a Successful Battle Plan

If you want to get an ex girlfriend back, you're going to have to fight for her.  It's a fact.  And to win the fight, you're going to need a successful battle plan.

Here's a quick story to get you thinking about what fighting for a girl really means.

Take Mark.

Mark wanted to get his ex girlfriend back.  Mark served his country in Iraq and knew a thing or two about battle plans.  So, he decided to plan and execute a battle plan to get his ex girlfriend back.

Mark's ex girlfriend, Jenn had broken up with him because she had met somebody else.  She met a poet, and although Mark knew Jenn had an artistic streak herself, he also knew this poet wasn't going to ultimately make Jenn happy.  The poet wasn't the kind of man Mark was.

So, Mark set his battle plan in motion in order to get his ex girlfriend back.  This battle plan had three approaches.

The first thing he did was to clean himself up.  He let his buzz cut grow slightly until he had a short and stylish haircut.  He started reading some of the books, listening to some of the music, and seeing some of the films he knew Jenn liked and had always talked about.  He knew that if he wanted to get his ex girlfriend back, he would have to present himself as the kind of boyfriend she really wanted.

Next, Mark wanted to show Jenn that he was an attractive virile man, that he was a real catch.  So, he called up Erica, a friend of Jenn's, and asked her if she'd like to go to dinner with him as a casual and fun date.  When Erica agreed, Mark sent a quick text to Jenn asking her where she thought Sarah might like to go for a dinner date.

Jenn called Mark immediately to ask him why he was taking Erica out.  He simply explained that they were broken up and he was moving on, and since he always thought Erica was interesting and sweet, he decided it'd be cool to get to know her.  He then told Jenn that if she had any objections, that she should reconsider the breakup.

Jenn, of course, slammed down the phone.  This is what Mark expected, and it was what he wanted.  He had successfully planted in Jenn's mind the idea that he was desirable to women.  This was all part of his battle plan to get his ex girlfriend back.

The last part of Mark's battle plan to get his ex girlfriend back was to use his date with Erica to channel information back to Jenn.  He brought her a single red rose when he showed up to pick her up.  He took her to a nice restaurant that he knew Jenn would enjoy.  And on his date with her, he talked about the books and music and films he'd been taking in recently.

When Mark dropped Erica off, he gave her a hug and a simple kiss on the cheek to say goodnight.  The next day, he had a small bouquet of flowers sent to her with a card that said, "I had a really great time.  I hope you did too."

Erica then called up Jenn immediately wanting to know why on earth she'd ever broken up with such a great guy.

Meanwhile, Jenn and her poet were fizzling out.  The initial spark in their relationship had died down and now Jenn found herself missing Mark like mad.

Jenn called Mark a couple of days after his date with Erica wanting to know if they could try starting their relationship up again.

And that...

...is how you get an ex girlfriend back.

Can I Get My Ex Girlfriend Back

If you've recently gone through a breakup and are wondering to yourself, "Can I get my ex girlfriend back," then you need to be realistic and ask yourself some serious questions.

If you truly think there's a chance you can get her back, then the breakup must not have been so devastating that it can't be saved.  Now you're just hoping that she feels the same way.

If you caused her any pain during the breakup, then it's time for apologies.  Tell her you're sorry.  Be sincere and honest with her.  That's the best first step you can take towards getting her back.  Swallow your pride if you want your ex girlfriend back for good.

Can I Show My Sensitive Side to Get My Ex Girlfriend Back?

While there is no formula for getting your ex girlfriend back, you have a much better chance if you show her that you miss her and tell her how sorry you are.  Watch her closely and change your actions based on how she reacts to the different techniques you try.  Don't give up.

Try to show her that you're capable of giving her what she wants.  If you give her flowers and you can see that it frustrates her, consider her situation.  Flowers are easy.  Maybe you can try something a little more personal.  Buy a blank card with an image that says something to her and then write your own words in it.  Don't worry about it sounding good, just speak from the heart and express whatever you feel towards her.

Rather than buying her flowers, try picking flowers yourself and arranging a small bouquet.  This really shows you care and that she's worth everything to you.  Again, be patient.  Mending a broken relationship and getting your ex girlfriend back takes time and healing.  It won't happen overnight so don't expect it to and don't give up if it doesn't.

Can I Date Other Women to Try to Get My Ex Girlfriend Back?

This is very very tricky.  On the one hand, just a pinch of jealousy can help make your ex girlfriend wish she was the one on the date with you.  But on the other hand, go too far and your girlfriend will either think you've moved on entirely or she'll simply resent you so much she won't even want to get back together with you.

This is one tactic you really have to gauge for yourself based on your relationship and what you know about her.  If you think there's a chance it could backfire, then it's not worth trying at all.  Undoing damage is much harder than simply avoiding it altogether.

If My Ex Girlfriend Has a New Boyfriend, Can I Still Get My Ex Girlfriend Back?

This can feel like the most hopeless situation of all, but don't give up.  If you can show your ex girlfriend that she'd be happier if she was with you, then you have a great chance of getting her back.

Be as thoughtful as you can be with her.  If it seems like she's simply moved on from you, send her a friendly card just wishing her a nice day or a great week.  Expect nothing and show that you expect nothing in return.  The thoughtful gesture will really impress her and show her how much you care.

How You Can Get a Guy Back After a Breakup and Save the Relationship

After a breakup, you may find yourself wondering how you can get a guy back and save the relationship.  You're not alone, and thankfully, there is hope.

Getting back together with someone who broke up with you is very difficult and it takes effort and patience.  It's much easier to work out a relationship that you're still in than when your partner has decided they no longer think it's worth fighting for and are ready to end the relationship.

But even if he broke up with you, you can still get your ex boyfriend back and save the relationship.

First, you must decide with absolute certainty that saving the relationship is truly what you want.  Make sure the reasons you have for wanting to get your ex back are valid and worthy.

Next, come to grips with reality.  Sometimes trying to get a guy back works and sometimes it just doesn't.  You have to be prepared for any outcome and you need to be just as ready and willing to fight as hard as you can as you are to move on if you realize it's just not right.

Work on getting your head sorted out and your emotions straight.  Guys are not attracted to women whose emotions are all over the place.  Even though this is a hard time, you need to work on yourself.  Spend some time away from him and occupy your life with things that make you happy.

If he starts to miss you and gets in contact with you, he won't be as open to starting things up again if you are an absolute wreck.  Instead, work on regaining your self-confidence and your own personal identity.  So get out there and live your own life.  Be the mature one in the breakup.

Take good care of yourself and treat yourself to some luxuries.  Take up your hobbies, hang out with your friends, get out there and have some fun.  Keep yourself active and content and do things that make you feel good about yourself.

If you spend enough time focusing on yourself, you'll gradually lose that obsessive and toxic connection to the relationship you were holding on to and this is usually the time when he'll try to get in touch with you.

When he does, keep your cool and show him that you have a life.  Tell him you've been busy and just act calm and collected.  If he sees that you're somehow indifferent, he'll be intrigued and strangely drawn to you.  Guys are hopelessly attracted to women who are strong, confident and independent and by showing him this side of you, he'll wonder how and why he ever let you go.

When you first see him, keep physical contact with him to a minimum.  Don't let him touch or kiss you but rather, give him a simple hug when you leave.  Watch him go crazy.

Can You and Your Ex Really Get Back Together?

If you've recently gone through a breakup, you might have asked yourself can you and your ex really get back together.

The truth is, you'll need to really search within yourself for the honest answer to that question.  Take some time to truly decide if you and your ex really get back together, you'll both be happier and stronger for it.

Try to look ahead to the future and imagine if you'll still be happy together or if you are destined to hit the same rough patch that led to the breakup in the first place.  Be as objective as you can and consider both the pros and cons of your relationship.

Most relationships are actually worth saving.  If there's any form of abuse or if in your relationship you spent more time fighting than having fun, then it wasn't healthy and you need to focus your efforts on moving on.

If, however, your relationship on a whole was a good one, then I hope the following helps you and your ex get back together.

First of all, avoid pushing your ex.  Don't pester and don't obsess.  This will only push them further away.  The best thing you can do is give your ex some time and space.  This is good for them and for you.  A breakup is tough.  And spending some time apart will give you both a chance to sort your heads out and see things more clearly.

You might feel desperate at first, but the feelings you're experiencing will pass with time.  Remember that the past is the past and this time apart is your time to get ready to move forward with the relationship.  Don't beat yourself up over whatever happened to cause the breakup.  If the relationship is truly worth saving, then you and your ex can get back together, and you will.

It's time to concentrate on the present.  Live your life while you wait for both of you to become stronger and ready to take on the next step.  Getting your life back in order and taking good care of yourself is actually one of the most attractive things you can do.  People are drawn to strong and confident people, so when your ex sees that you are living your life, they will begin to miss the person they once fell in love with.

5 Simple Tips to Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back and Save Your Relationship

After a breakup it takes work to save your relationship, but these tips can help you get your ex boyfriend back for good.

Many people do not know how to go about getting their ex boyfriend back because they usually aren't prepared for it when it happens and don't know what they need to do to fix the relationship.  It's not like life comes with an instruction book for these things.

1.  Get Rid of Your Negative Thoughts

If you want to get your ex boyfriend back and save your relationship, you're going to have to get your head straight.  Get yourself together by ridding yourself of negative thoughts.  Rather than feeling sorry for yourself, find the strength to stop your emotions from keeping you down.

2.  Focus on the Present

There is no sense pouring energy into the past.  What's done is done.  The relationship you once had is over and you need to let it go.  Thankfully the relationship you're capable of rebuilding can be much stronger than the former one ever was.  Focus on what you have to work with now and use the foundation of your relationship to build a new one and save the parts of the relationship that are still intact.

3.  Refrain From Pestering and Obsessing

No guy likes it when a girl obsesses over them.  This is especially true of guys and their girlfriends, particularly when the relationship is on the rocks or you've just split up.  If you really want to save the relationship and get your ex boyfriend back, you need to do the opposite of what you feel like doing and just give him some space.  Give him time and space to realize what he's missing.  Smothering him will only make it harder in the long run to get him back.

4.  Make Yourself Irresistible

Pamper yourself and treat yourself to a new haircut, a manicure or a little shopping spree.  Keep yourself healthy and fit.  When you take care of yourself well and feel good about yourself, you will radiate confidence.  This is irresistible to men and when your ex boyfriend sees that you're strong and content, he'll be drawn to you like a moth to a flame.

5.  Take it Slow

Following steps 1-4 will most likely get your ex boyfriend to at least notice you and see you in a new light if not run back to you and fall to his knees!  When he does start to get in touch with you, minimize physical contact and don't spring to let him back in your life immediately.  Don't just jump back into the relationship.  If you truly want to get your ex boyfriend back and save the relationship, you need to take it slow.

7 Ways to Build Trust in a Relationship and Save Your Relationship Before It's Too Late

Before it's too late, you need to save your relationship and that means finding ways to build trust in your relationship.  Check out these tips for improving the level of trust between you and your spouse or partner before it's too late:

1.  Be Predictable

Spontaneity may be the spice of life, but if you're looking to build trust to save your relationship, then you need to be more predictable than you are varied.  Be consistent and steady and show your spouse or partner that you can be counted on to behave a certain way.  This doesn't mean not surprising them with a nice dinner or taking them on a spontaneous outing.  It just means not altering your primary mode of behavior much.

2.  Be True to Your Word

Give your spouse or partner a reason to trust what you say.  Match your body language to your words and match your words to your actions.  Your partner or spouse will see right through you if you're lying, so learn to be honest in order to build up trust in the relationship.

3.  Believe in Your Partner or Spouse

Remind yourself of what it was in your partner or spouse that you fell in love with.  Focus on those competencies of theirs that made you respect them.  Having a fundamental belief in them and then respectfully and lovingly communicating it to them is one of the most powerful things you can do to build trust.

4.  Do Not Keep Secrets

This seems obvious, but it's much easier said than done.  The truth is, secrets destroy trust between you.  You need to focus on being as open and honest as possible.  And give your partner or spouse the respect to do the same.  Rather than focusing your energy on keeping certain things hidden or buried, work on building up the trust in your relationship.  Chances are those secrets will come out eventually and if the relationship is truly strong, they won't affect your relationship anyway.

5.  Articulate Your Needs to Each Other

Discuss openly exactly what it is you feel is lacking in the relationship or that you as an individual need in order to thrive.  Then open your ear to your partner or spouse and really hear what they have to say as well.  Don't be selfish, just be honest.

6.  Don't Be Afraid to Say No.

You can't be respected or trusted if you can never say no, so to build trust in your relationship, you have to have the courage to say no to anything your partner or spouse demands that you feel is unreasonable or that's pushing you too hard to be something you are not.  You have to keep your own individual personality alive to build the relationship up into something stronger, so learn to compromise, but not submit.

7.  Work Through the Pain in Order to Grow

Working at a relationship can be difficult and painful at times.  But just like any other form of growth, the pain is just a part of it and it does eventually subside and pass.  And it only makes you and your relationship stronger.

Monday, November 2, 2009

5 Signs Your Relationship is Toxic (And 5 Steps Towards Getting Out of a Toxic Relationship!)

Are you wondering if you're in a toxic relationship?  Here are 5 signs that will help you tell.  And stay tuned afterwards for what to actually do about them!
  1. Your partner or spouse puts you down in front of other people.
  2. Your partner says they love you, but acts otherwise.
  3. Your partner is controlling and possessive, constantly snooping around and checking up on you.
  4. Your partner does everything they can to make you dependent on them.
  5. You find yourself changing things about yourself just to please them.
If these hit a little too close to home for you, you might just be in a toxic relationship, but don't fear.  There are things you can do to get out of this situation that is emotionally or even physically harmful.

A relationship that's truly toxic has a cycle.  Usually there's a honeymoon period followed by some kind of huge blowout which is often followed by some sort of reconciliation before the cycle begins again.

Some people end up in toxic relationships because their childhood resembled one and so it's all they know.  Others feel the need to take care of someone, and so they end up in relationships with highly flawed individuals.  Still others just don't have the self-confidence to think they deserve any better.

Here are some simple steps you can take to get out and stay out of the toxic relationship:
  1. Realize that you have other choices and that you don't deserve this.
  2. Stand up for yourself and do not bear the blame for everything.
  3. Seek therapy or counseling to help you articulate how the relationship makes you feel.
  4. Commit to treating yourself with more respect.
  5. Verbalize your plan of action to your partner or spouse.
You are capable of breaking the cycle of toxic relationships and go out to find healthier relationships with people who will treat you with the respect you deserve.

If you feel your relationship can be saved (as almost all real relationships can), you must find a way to open up honest communication between you and put forth a great deal of effort towards renewing the bonds between you and replacing the toxicity with love and respect.

How to Get Your Ex Back After an Affair: Learn to Restore Trust to Save a Relationship

If you've cheated and you're wondering how to get your ex back after the affair, then it's time to think about how to restore trust in order to save your relationship.

An affair is not the end of a relationship no matter what anyone says.  If both you and your spouse or partner are willing to work at it, you can find trust again and save your relationship for good.

Restoring trust in a relationship means shifting your attitudes and changing the way you both act.  You both need to begin saving your relationship by dealing with the level of trust between you.

Think about the core issue at hand.  If you were led astray and had an affair, you need to think about the real reason you cheated.  There is likely something lacking in the relationship that led you to seek something outside of it.

You wouldn't have an affair if your relationship was perfect.  So you need to try to figure out what it was you were running from by pinpointing exactly what it was you were running to.

In order to be able to restore trust between you and your spouse or partner, you need to work at the underlying problems in your relationship.  This might mean you see a counselor or therapist together or it might mean just working together to get through it.

After you figure out what the root cause may be, you need to work together to come up with a plan of action for actually solving the problem.  Don't just talk about the issues you have, actually act on them in order to tackle them.

Make small promises to each other that take steps towards solving your problems, and actually keep them.  Show your partner or spouse that you can be true to your word.  This is the first and simplest way to restore trust in your relationship after you've cheated.  You have to win back their confidence that you can be trusted.

Your spouse or partner will need to be reassured that you can change, so apologize as often as they need to hear it and realize that this is not an easy mistake to forgive.  Be patient and understanding.

Try to keep the faith between both of you that the affair can actually improve your relationship by making it stronger.  Even though restoring trust in a relationship after an affair takes time and energy, you can actually become an even better couple when you both pull through it together.

Can A Rebound Relationship Actually Work In Your Favor? 5 Simple Steps to Get Your Ex Back After a Rebound

Can you save a relationship and get your ex back after a rebound relationship?

We all know what a rebound relationship is... and it isn't exactly pretty.  It basically entails dating (or more/less) someone else in order to get over your recent breakup.  And it's usually used as a way to move on from the true love they've just lost.

It's a way to avoid the emotions of a real relationship.  And herein lies the key to getting your ex back and making the relationship work again:

If your ex has run to a rebound, then you have to realize that they are actually trying to avoid dealing with the pain of losing you.

Sounds a little better when you look at it that way doesn't it?  Well, it's absolutely true.

At the end of the day, it doesn't even matter why your ex lost you or if the fault was yours or theirs.  It doesn't even matter who made the final decision to end it.  The only thing that's important is that there is true love between you.

Almost all relationships that are based on true love can be saved and are very much worth saving.

If your ex is in a rebound relationship, then they're probably trying to counter exactly what they perceive to be the problem in your former relationship.  This is why you so often see girls who just broke up with a sweet, loving guy run off with some tattooed bad boy.  (Or vice versa.)

Here's why this is actually good news:

If your ex is concentrating on the differences between you and this new person, they're actually still focusing on you, and actually giving you a chance to see exactly what it is they're looking for.

You can actually use this opportunity to figure out what your ex might feel is missing from your relationship and is seeking out in this new one.  And use the time apart to improve upon yourself in a favorable way.

A rebound relationship is destined to end.  That's just the nature of it.  Your ex will eventually begin to see the flaws in this new person and remember the things about you that they once fell in love with and now are beginning to miss.

Rather than crawling back to your ex quickly after the breakup, just let the rebound relationship go through its short cycle and then let your ex come to you.  Don't be the one to chase them.  You can follow these five steps to save the relationship when your ex is in a rebound relationship:

  1. Don't try to convince your ex that you're the only one for them.  Let them figure that out for themselves.
  2. Don't over-apologize.  If you truly are at fault for something, say you're sorry.  Then move on.  Your ex doesn't need to be reminded again.
  3. Don't promise your ex that you are going to evolve into something you're not.  They fell in love with the real you, flaws and all.  Compromise is great.  Changing who you are is not what anyone should want.
  4. Don't try to convince your ex that nothing was your fault.  Don't be defensive.  Don't fight.  As the smoke clears, you'll both come around to what truly matters:  that you love each other.
  5. Do not, under any circumstances, beg for your ex to take you back.  Sometimes it's tempting.  Do not beg.
If your ex is seeing someone in a rebound, you should actually try to use it to your advantage by jumping on the opportunity to learn more about your relationship in order to actually save your relationship and get your ex back.  Remember that a rebound is actually a surefire sign that your ex is still in love with you.

How to Save a Relationship: 6 Steps to Saving Your Relationship

If you're wondering how to save your relationship, take a look at these simple steps you can take to getting your relationship back on track:

1.  Decide if the Relationship is Worth Saving

The first step you always have to take is to really look closely at your relationship and all the issues it may have.  Almost any relationship can be saved if you really work at it, but you need to decide if this one is worth saving.  Is it worth the amount of effort it will take to save?

2.  Commit to Saving Your Relationship

One of the most important steps that make up how to save a relationship is truly committing to saving that relationship.  Once you've come up with reasons why it deserves to be saved, then you and your spouse or partner have to both agree to put whatever it takes into making it work.

3.  Find the Root Problem in the Relationship

Take a good look at your relationship.  Look past the symptoms of the problems between you and find the problem itself.  For example, if you or your spouse or partner had an affair, most people tend to dwell on the affair itself as the cause of the relationship falling apart.  But in reality, an affair is simply a symptom of a problem that's much deeper like lack of intimacy or lack of reciprocal trust.

Dealing with the affair alone doesn't take care of the root of the problem and so other symptoms might emerge in the future.  Find the core issue and deal with it in order to save your relationship.

4.  Openly Communicate

After identifying the root issues in your relationship, open up and share your thoughts together.  Verbalize exactly how you're feeling and lend your ear to your spouse or partner and let them do the same.  Don't let their words hurt you or make you defensive.  Your job, as theirs, is just to listen while the other speaks.

5.  Come Up with a Plan Together

After you've decided on the relationship problems you want to tackle together, then sit down and come up with a detailed plan to solve them.  Make the steps you plan to take concrete and doable.  For example, if you feel you don't spend enough time together like you once did, then plan a weekly date night.  If the issue is communication or lack thereof, carve out 30 minutes every evening before you go to bed just to talk to each other.  Most importantly of course, is actually following through with this plan, so work with each other to stick to it.

6.  Be Realistic and Keep Your Sense of Humor

Finding out for yourself how to save your relationship is hard work and it's a continual process.  You might fall back a bit before you move forward.  Just know that you're doing this together and you will eventually figure it out.  Be open to change and to apologizing and try your best not to place blame on each other.  You're in this together because you want to save the relationship.  Anticipate both laughter and tears.

Relationship Rescue! 3 Steps that Work To Save Your Relationship

If you're looking for relationship rescue, then it's time to look closely at your marriage or your relationship and figure out a way to keep it alive and save your relationship for good.

There are tons of books you can read or advice you can get and even therapists or counselors that can talk on and on at you, but in the end, the words will be the same.  And little action will be taken.

Here's what you can do for real relationship rescue.

1.  Find a Way to Compromise

First of all, you need to be completely honest with each other and be willing to accept one another.  If you really want to save your relationship, then you have to work on accepting the beauty and the flaws in one another.  That's all of them.

Nobody's perfect.  You need to learn to accept that and move on.

Many people pinpoint the flaws in their spouse or partner and place all the blame of the relationship problems on that flaw.  Even though it's hard and it takes work to truly save your relationship, you need to learn to own up to the fact that any issues or problems in your relationship are shared.

Take ownership of your own flaws and accept that your partner or spouse is also flawed.  Then turn it all around and focus on what characteristics can be changed in order to better accommodate each other.


If you want your partner or spouse to change, then you better be willing to be open to working on changing yourself as well.  Have an open mind, and they will likely follow.

Real love always requires compromise.  Be willing to bend your will and make some sacrifices to make the relationship work.  Real relationship rescue means looking deeply at yourself and finding out how to make yourselves more compatible.

2.  Shift Your Perspective

Another important leap you'll need to take is to change your perspective.  Sometimes when your relationship is going through a shaky patch, you have trouble seeing things clearly.  Often times the smallest things get blown way out of proportion.

Look closely at your relationship problems and try to see them from every possible angle.  Imagine how things can be different but don't forget to be thankful for your blessings.  For example, if you feel your spouse or partner works too much and this is straining your relationship, imagine what it'd be like if they lost their job entirely.

Imagine if they didn't have the drive and ambition to work at all.  Imagine if they didn't respect your wishes to work as much or as little as you yourself do.  Try to see every situation for what it really is and try to see if there's a good reason for the way things are.

3.  Come to an Agreement and Move On

Talk things through until you come to some agreement or settlement.  Then, simply move on.  Do not dwell and don't hold on to grudges.  Once you deal with something adequately, then let it go.  Don't allow yourselves to waste precious energy arguing over things that happened in the past.  There is never any sense in fighting the same battles more than once.